As we head into the holidays, I wanted to share one of the most important pieces of knowledge & inspiration to keep you on track through the New Year. This could not have been more perfectly said by Brittany Brown, the amazing gal behind BeatBingeEating.com:
Self love is more than the feel good fluffy stuff. I beleive it’s at the root of all joy and happiness. If we don’t truly believe that we are worthy and deserving of all the goodness we want out of life, we’ll sabotage ourselves just as we’re about to experience it fully.
This is usually in a sneaky and subconscious way too, in fact you may not even know it’s happening when it most likely is. It looks a lot like living the same behavior on repeat that’s keeping you stuck but not really knowing why you can’t break free.
The holidays are some of the hardest times to practice self love and care, and with triggers from others it can be taxing on our feelings of self worth. It’s easy to give give give, put your needs last and burn yourself out, and take things personally from people who may mean no harm at all.
This can lead to resentment, exhaustion, self sabotage, and lack of joy and connection during what has the potential of being a love filled and connected time of year!
What self love is…
When I’m talking self love, I’m talking the unconditional love, compassion and respect for every part of yourself, your dark and your light, that is so deep, so beautiful and so all-encompassing that it nourishes every cell of your being. Since you’re completely nourished, and so filled up with love, you only choose situations, relationships, opportunities, and actions towards yourself and others that are a reflection of this unconditional love, compassion and respect.
What self love is not…
Self love is not selfish. Self love and showing up for yourself daily is one of the least selfish things you can do. How can you expect to show up in the world and give love to others if you’re not taking care of yourself first?
Self love means that your cup will be so filled that you can pour that love out freely to the world from a fulfilled place instead of a depleted one, as well as settle for nothing less than the very best for yourself and those you love because you don’t actually NEED anything.
When you truly understand that you are the source of everything in your life, you can walk through life allowing things into your experience that are complimentary instead of supplimentary. This will improve the quality of your life, the quality of your interactions, and how you show up for the world!
Why Does Self Love Matter?
You are the source of it all. You are the source of everything in your life. Your experiences, your relationships, your career, your circumstances, your interactions with this world and others all have one common denominator…
We tend to sacrifice ourselves for all the things above but when we take a step back and realize we are at the source of it all, we realize how important it is to take care of ourselves.
Signs of A Self Love / Self Worth Deficit:
When we’re running low in the self love and self worth department we tend to…
- Settle for less than we deserve
- Not speak our truth and be fully self expressed
- Give from a place hoping to get love or approval in return instead of giving freely from a fulfilled place
- Sabotage ourselves just as we are about to have a breakthrough because we don’t believe at are core that we are worthy of everything we desire
- Sabotage relationships or attract toxic relationship into our experience because we don’t beelive at are core we are worthy of love
- Seek external circumstances (needing more money, more things, more work, more likes on social media, more attention etc to feel happy, content, or enough) to validate us instead of validating ourselves from within. Nothing wrong with more of the things listed, but if they’re done in an attempt to fill a self love deficit you’ll never truly feel fulfilled.
- Seeking physical changes like weight loss to feel enough and worthy of everything you desire. Feeling like life can’t be lived fully until you’re “there” and playing small or hiding out because of it.
- Having something on your heart that you want to do but being too afraid of what others think or too afraid of failing to step into your power and let it rip
Signs of Self Love Abundance:
- Standing for all that you know you deserve and not settling for anything less
- Full self expression
- Giving freely from a place of love without expectations
- Growing in life and knowing that you’re worthy of happiness, success, and all that you desire
- Attracting relationships into your experience that help you grow and reflect your worth right back to you
- Pursuing goals and passions from a place of living your truth instead of a place of seeking validation
- Seeking health and fitness from a place of wanting the best for yourself instead of trying to “fix” yourself
- Feeling the fear of what others think or the fears in your own mind but stepping out and living your truth and passions anyway
Now that you know what self love is, how it manifests itself & the importance of it in your everyday life, try to keep this top of mind as you head into the holidays. We all will lose sleep, drink a few too many, eat too many pieces of pie, and that’s OK. Self care means being kind to yourself, consuming mindfully and loving yourself enough to hop right back on the healthy bandwagon.
Happy ALMOST Merry Christmas to you all.