I got back from the gym this morning, opened the door to the smell of bacon & fresh coffee brewing, and I thought…man, I could really get used to this. Bri –the new beau — was cooking breakfast so it would be ready for my hungry belly when I returned. Yes, ladies, he’s real. And no, you can’t have him.
We sat down to eat our perfectly made eggs, bacon & coffee and I snapped a photo of our breakfast (because, obvi, you can’t eat without snapping) before opening my devotional — a morning ritual for me (something that B is still getting used to).
I, unfortunately, missed yesterday’s devotional – hence why my Monday was a little off. So, I was determined to catch up on the Oct. 17 AND Oct 18 message.
I quickly noticed that the Oct. 17 page was permanently bookmarked. I read the first line and it immediately took me back to Oct. 17, 2015.
The first line:
Don’t make the mistake of settling for ‘good enough.’
This time last year, I had taken a time-out from my life, home & marriage. It had gotten to a very toxic, unhealthy & unhappy place. I stayed at my parents house for almost a month, doing lots of soul searching, self reflection & praying, in hopes that it would lead my heart in the right direction. I kept going back and forth as every human would. Do you stick it out, work on things, go back to what’s comfortable with the hope of change? By the way, we had been working on things since the day we met. So please don’t think I didn’t throw everything on the table to try to make it work — including practicing forgiveness for some very unforgivable acts. I am a faithful person after all.
God had been screaming at me for a LONG time, sending me messages left and right signaling things were not right. But again, we’re human. Sometimes it’s hard to listen when we want to control things & make them better, especially us females — it’s in our DNA.
With that said, after reading this devotional one year ago yesterday, I knew it was God telling me what to do. It was him whispering my worth in my ear, infusing the self-love, courage & determination I needed to finally put my happiness first.
The devotional reads:
Perhaps you’ve become comfortable with good enough.
Wow. I don’t think this devotional could’ve hit the nail on the head any more perfectly.
I had gotten comfortable. I had become complacent thinking that this is how life is supposed to be (PATHETIC. Who was I?!?!?! This was NOT the Carrie everyone knew, or I knew.)
But, He kept his faith in me, nudging & saying: “NO, you are worth more.”
That day, I texted my now soon-to-be ex hubby that I wasn’t coming home.
Although it has been a year I never ever had forecasted, I thank God everyday for putting this message in front of me, exactly when I needed to hear it.
Now, I’m literally, the happiest I’ve EVER been. Who would’ve thunk?
If you’re questioning yourself, your life, career or anything that’s important to you, just be still & listen. Trust the energy around you, the happenings in your life, the words spoken to you — none of it is coincidence.
Don’t get to the point I did — when God is literally screaming at you to listen. Trust your gut, your heart & Him, and your path will be made clear. ❤