Let go of the bullshit & start getting what you want out of life


⬆️ Pretty much.

My goal these days: to lose my marriage weight. You know, that boy weight that comes on like a vengeance once you’ve made a commitment to each other – relationship, rings or otherwise. It’s kind of like the ‘Freshman 15’…almost inevitable.

Well, I’m out of my unhealthy relationship (thank the Lord above), but I’m left to pick up the pieces, find myself again, and uncover that ‘single lady’ body! It’s still there…just under a couple layers :p

We all go through phases in our lives, so I think the biggest tip I can give when yearning  for or experiencing change, is to be OK with where you are. Your body is a reflection of your emotional state, your mentality and your external environment. Be kind to yourself and KNOW deep-down that if you’re a little off right now – mind, body or spirit – it does NOT define you. YOU choose what defines you. Luckily for you and I, these are all factors that we have CONTROL over. We can ALWAYS decide to make a change and be better, at any point in time.

So, once you’ve accepted where you are, a few things need to happen.

First: VISUALIZE. VISUALIZE who you want to be and where you want to go.

There are three actionable steps that make up VISUALIZATION that, when tackled together, make you successful at change & achieving your goals.

I’ve been wanting to write on this topic for a while given my current predicament (getting that single gal body back), but what finally inspired me to write this post is a book I’m currently reading: ‘Wellth, How I learned to Build a Life, Not a Resume,’ by the brilliant MindBodyGreen founder, Jason Wachob.

Now on to the 3 precursors for changing your life for the better (and for me…finally slashing my boy weight):


You have to believe it will happen, otherwise you’re done before you even get started. If you don’t believe you’ll meet your soul mate, lose the unwanted weight, land that dream job or get the raise you deserve, you can kiss that dream goodbye [bye, Felicia].

Nothing great ever happens without firstbelieving in yourself.

Believe it or not, I’m struggling with this one. I’m feeling resistance from somewhere (I can’t put my finger on it), like I don’t deserve to lose the weight, feel confident with myself and own my body again. It’s these self-destructive thoughts that will get you nowhere fast…likely stuck and unhappy. (If you’ve read this far, I have a feeling you might be feeling this right now…)

If you’re having trouble believing in yourself, start with little goals that can build your confidence. For example, I can say, I’ll go to the gym 5X a week and cut sugar. At the end of week 1, after accomplishing tiny goals like this, I’ll have already built a little more confidence in myself, proving that I can indeed, kick some serious ass at this! Try the same.


If you don’t see yourself going from point A to point B, how are you ever going to get there? Jason uses an example of finding your soul mate: you have to envision the person you’re looking for — looks, qualities, values, etc. Same with weight loss — I have to envision how I’m going to get there, in order to actually get there. The plan doesn’t have to be perfect and will often take on the qualities of a roller coaster — ever changing — but you have to start by envisioning yourself getting to the end-goal.


We all know that change can’t happen unless you put in the dirty work. You can visualize and see your goals day in and day out, but if you don’t put together a realistic action plan, you’re never going to get there! I wish dreaming about my ‘single lady body’ would result in a six pack & lifted booty by morning, but it doesn’t exactly work like that. (Plus, the beauty is in the journey.)

The very next day after diving into #Wellth, I woke up to this devotional. Funny timing, huh? I think a higher power may be sending me (and you, if you need it) a message.

A vision forces us to ‘see’ something. It’s very different from a list. It requires openness and trust to begin to see ourselves as God sees us…to remove our self-imposed barriers and merge our meagerness into the stream of God’s power, where all things are possible.

Obviously, there are a lot more factors at play when trying to get over what is holding us back from achieving our goals. But, for starters, if you can change the way you see yourself, you’ll start to experience life & the world around you differently. This will be the start of something magical — the kick in the butt you need to believe, see and do.

YOU are responsible for creating your reality — and the change in which you want to see.

It’s hard. It takes times. It takes mistakes. It takes falling & getting up, over and over. It takes sweat. It takes strength. It takes tears (most of the time – at least for me). It takes a network of support. It takes faith. It takes self care. But if you hang in there, recognize your worth & do what you know YOU DESERVE, your dreams WILL come to fruition.

Motivation and a whole lot of words that sound good (like this blog post) will get you started, but it’s consistency, practice & DAILY positive self-talk that will keep you going.

Good luck to ALL OF YOU. WE GOT THIS!!! ❤ ❤ ❤


PS: If you need help in setting specific goals for yourself, be sure to check out this post!


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